In order to create a successful relationship in the long run or for you to excel at your job, these three characteristics must line up with the other person or with the company you are working at. These three things are the foundation on which your reality is played out…they are essentially who you are, what you believe and how you believe the world should be. I call this the VIP Method and if you use this method of evaluation for your relationships and your job, you will always be aware of where you stand and the direction in which your life is going. It’s like a Life GPS where you not only have the ability to see where you are at right now, but you’re also able to make adjustments if you determine that you’re not going in the right direction…for you.
The 3 Must-Haves for a Successful Relationship or Career

Values

Intelligence

Personality

Why are Compatible Values So Important in a Relationship or Job?
Values are the building blocks on which you create the foundation of YOU.  You use your selected value group, or “Core Values” to determine what is “right” and what is “wrong” in your world.

The values you choose as the most important to you, shape both your perceptions of YOU as well as the world that surrounds you. They act as the guiding force that shapes your behavior.  Unfortunately, though, you still have the Ego and its crappy negative programs that tend to jump in the way of your values message, resulting in situations where your behavior doesn’t match your core values.

An example of a person’s values would include kindness, achievement, ambition, character, compassion, compromise, confidence, forgiveness, generosity, honesty, integrity, loyalty, passion, patience, respect, responsibility and trust.  For a more complete list of values go to http://www.values.com/teaching-values

Exercise: Go to values.com and create a “core value foundation” sheet, which is basically choosing the five core values that you want to build yourself on top of…like the buildings blocks of a foundation below your house.  Instinctively, we humans prioritize pretty much everything as a survival method and values are no exception.  Out of the five values there tends to be one or two that rise to the top as your strongest guiding value(s)…those will be your first and second choice as your guiding principle of thought and behavior in any given circumstance or decision making situation you find yourself.

Now, the issue with relationships and a job comes down to value compatibility.  Even if you’re in a situation where you’re with someone that shares a ton of similar interests, all the way down to flavor of toothpaste or undying appreciation for the artistic value of Wes Anderson movies, it will not last unless you share relatively similar core values.

For instance, if I am volunteering because I want to help people and give back and my significant other’s motivation for volunteering is networking for business contacts, then that will ultimately result in an issue.

In terms of a job, I could be doing pharmaceutical sales, selling a drug that can help a lot of people, but work for a company that values making money more than helping people…this would eventually eat at me where I wouldn’t be able to justify my acceptance of the company’s mission because I’m getting a fat paycheck.

The big issue with values is that usually it takes a little while with a person or at a company to start to see what their guiding values are.  The best possible move on your part is to ask indirect questions, or pose hypothetical situations to your date or at your job interview and see how they answer.
Why Intelligence Levels Matter
In the VIP Method, Intelligence means your level of awareness and understanding in relation to your significant other or the company you work for.

We have already done a show on relationships and levels of intelligence, which concludes along the same lines as what we are saying here.